01 May, 2008

What's the worthwhileness quotient?

Girl 1 had a verybigbrainwave. The brainwave shook me out of my spring cleaning mode (which btw was very amusing considering I found a lost pendrive, three unmatched socks and my specs. It also allowed me to sing "To be with you" very loudly while making the beds. And the sone pe suhaga was finding my long lost cello gripper pen. *grin*. I refuse to write with any other). The brainwave also got me moving, afterall it involved bunking work (I am always up for it), going home and relaxing in the very inviting cooler room, quilling (which I vow to do this weekend. vow. vow. vow. Repetition demands attention I feel.) and eat some home grub (always welcome. Always.)

So I bathe with frighteningly impressive speed. Grab clothes. Pull over head. Try running comb through hair. Naah too knotted. Settle with a tangled jooda. Stuff laptop into bag. Oh throw in charger too. No take it out. Girl 1 has the same laptop. But battery backup is nil. Put it in again. Naah the weight. Gawd just put it in woman. Yikes! Message L that I am going. Ok pick up keys and put in money plant for L to find. Damn the money plant is put too high. Jump. Jump. Ok throw the keys. They land somewhere else. Crouch. Retrieve. Gentle throw. Basket! Rush through the scorching afternoon. Wait for bus. Wait. Wait. WAIT. Aah there it comes, my rickety old 724. Get in. Don't get seat. Frown. Then suddenly get seat. Thankgodyourstophascomeandyouhavetogetoff sigh.

Once seated, I rummaged through my bag for my all-important earphones. Aah ofcourse I forgot them in the darn hurry. I can't look out of the window because of this colossal mound of humanity that is sitting next to me. Somewhere in a few rows behind me this starts (in a very high, nasal, cheen cheen kain kain voice):

"Tum usse kaho mein usee Sai mandir ke saamne hi miloongi."
Blah blah blah
"Nahin tum nahin bologe toh main rooth jaoongi."
Blah blah blah
"Achha tumhari yeh himmat, main na (hyventilating begins), haan haan, main na tumhe bahut sataaoongi. Yaad rakhna meri baat. "
Blah blah blah
"Hawww, ab tu dekh. Hello? Hello?Hulloooooo? Sunai nahi de raha na ab. Saala zyada esmart banega toh dekhna. Achha shayad network problem hai. Par tu yeh mat soch ki iski wajah se tu bach gaya hai. Chalo bye. Tata. Tata."

Crass caller gets up, shuffling people all around, shouts at the conductor, spits outside my window (which I actually get to see because colossal mound of humanity ismade to move a degree), steps on grubby boy's toes and shoves herself out of the bus. And here I am trying to study ways to link forest conversion in South America to soyabean consumers in India. : Will I ever be heard by the likes of her? How will she ever even agree to try and comprehend the problems of...lets say climate change. What if I walk up to her to explain the extent of her ecological footprint? What am I thinking! She has more important things like roothna ofcourse. Despair looms. Bag seems too heavy (darn the charger).

Then I look out and I see a familiar friend. This gate. In Delhi Cantt. Seeing it since forever and it makes me grin everytime. Actually its this pair of gates. The first one says "Beware of dog." The second proclaims "Dog is ok. Beware of owner." Ha. Its funny how the first one reminds you how smartass insane the second is. They "complete" each other (sheeesh trust Tom Cruise and his spaniel eyes in jerry maguire...what's with mush and the incessant need to have it somewhere in your life?). Ok the sky is getting overcast. Yay. Whoops! Time to get off bus. Wear bag. Push way through sea of humans. Pray the light is red. Yes it is. Smile. Get off. Walk home. Ting tong. Girl 1 yells and hugs. Cooler blast hits face. Girl 2 smugly acknowledges the worthwhileness quotient of the entire exercise.

ps: If you do happen to click on the link in the post, take the ecological footprint (EF) quiz. Sadly, its tuned to the Austrailian set up. Just bear with it the way you frown each time they ask you for your "zip code" in online registration forms. Everyone doesn't live in Amreeka. Duh.


  1. did u and girl1[assuming didi] go together or u went cos, cos its a bad bad thing to take a seat before didi

    forest conversion to soyabean.. sounds farfetched.. and thats the sad thing about science, the work which is done is never for the benefit of the common human because a. the common human does not care
    and b. commercialization

    tho i recall having a footprint test for india during our evs classes. will post the link when i remember :)

  2. the letters for names reminds me of neha didi's blog

    she always ended up using too many alphabets by the time the post ended

    then people had to be named A1 or B23 or something of the sort

    oh yes, i have actually 'heard' trying to instigate their better halves to kiss them on the phone....and crassness is always relative woman

  3. Anonymous4:39 pm

    oh and btw the answers 42

  4. Haru: My day-recounting-skills must be really bad if THAt ids what you understood of the story. Girl 1 was in another place. I was going TO her. THAT was what the whole brainwave was about. Going TO her.

    Forest coversion DUE TO soyabeans. Anyway, consider it forgotten. Already.

    DO find that link. I am genuinely interested.

    Marvin: You for one know all the letters. L is just a new one for an old person. Yes crassness IS relative. If you were beside me I guess the phone lady would have blurred into oblivion, what with your feet-that-tell hoo-haa-horor-stories etc etc...

    Anon: If 42 is the right answer, what's the wrong one?

  5. It's not a horror "story". It's horror itself. AND it's Langda Bhooth. And he doesn't like being addressed by any other fancy names. Show some respect woman.

  6. yay. girl 1 will keep havin such brainWaWes.
    pity you went so soon :(
    tee hee hee, the phone covnersation was so typical

  7. Marvin: Langda Bhoot is so langda that he prefers to clothe himself in spotless white robes whih then get soiled in hagga water blah blah blah.Bottomline? Crassness is your forte. Ha

    Girl 1: I'm coming next week, the prawns MUST wait :P

  8. Worthwhileness quotient is extremely difficult to calculate. VERY.

    But sometimes when the moon is blue and the stars are dancing you can see the quotient flashing on people's foreheads!

  9. first time here and promise to come back and read properly but your header is just too damn cool.

  10. JD: The blue moon. *sigh*

  11. Anonymous10:56 pm

    oh you are so DAMN SMART !!!
    seriously !!



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