The car in front of me said "Singh is King".

I think this a befitting winner of the last-post-of-the-year contest.

Wheeeeeee

Its that time of the year again.

Christmas is a sneeze away. New Year is around the corner. People are making fervent party plans. Holiday budgets are being charted out. There's a nip in the air and the sun is a poor excuse for well, itself. The traffic light vendors are hell bent on selling me badly stitched Santa caps. The radio can't stop playing "Jingle Bells" rendered by different artists. Winter means you have an excuse to glug down innumerable cups of coffee. Khan market is like a page out of a fairy tale - all lights and cheer. The laughter hangs around enveloping me.

Yes, I have bought my diary, one activity where my punctuality and enthusiasm is impeccable and rather startling to most onlookers (people don't understand how/when/why/what I actually write in it. But then people rarely approve of anything I find remotely satisfying. For the record, I write in it with well BINGO! A pen/pencil/crayon/charcoal/blood. Come on. That's the how. The when is usually the time I am excessively groggy, in a semi-stupor: right before bed. The why and what, which are presumably the more interesting questions are the ones that beat me too).<---- that bracketed monologue went on for forever.

No, I havn't decided on resolutions yet and a cynical conscience is whispering in my ears that maybe at last I am too old to believe that they will actually work (for the record, my nail-biting habit has been kicked through resolutions circa 2002). I went through a jaded list like:

1. Take time out to do things I want to.
2. Be kinder to people who are generous enough to be kind to me.
3. Blah blah yaaaaaaaaaaawn....

But before I could finish that, I yawned, which is never a good sign when you are embarking on a new thing. So next year onwards, resolutions have been scrapped.

And so another New Year is beginning. Time to start afresh. That's the beauty of a brand new January. Clean slate. Sharpened pencil. Phew. Its one of those bugging "beta this is a turning point in your life" years. Friends are getting flung apart. New friends will/may be made. Internships are begining. Jobs will be sought. I'm upbeat.

What did I learn so far?

1. Help can come from the most unexpected quarters. And whether you believe it or not, help actually helps. It was a revelation to me.
2. Washing away guilt is never easy but you live and you learn. And "They" are speaking the truth when they say that you can feel as good/bad as you let yourself feel. So quitting feeling oh so pooh pooed about what was handed to you at the life/love/lollipop mela.
3. Spontaniety is the best state to be in. Its invigorating, its interesting and it makes you laugh. How many other things can claim to do all of the above?
4. Being terrified of letting people in is ridiculous. But letting go off it? Incredulous.
5. It is only in our times of dire need that we remember God. We are pathetic. But then that's why we are humans.
6. Growing pains are painful but hell they are brilliant teachers.
7. Cynicism and pessimism are different things.
8. I am still phone-phobic. Boo hoo hoo.

Year sum up?

"I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come" ~Scorpions

Happy holidays people!!

Overkill

it still hurts.
she watches wide-eyed
the scathing sarcasm
the guilt ridden reproaches
the bleeding wounds
the dry eyes
taunt
the selfish worries.

days gape disdainfully
as she shuffles away
cowardly
whimpering away from standing up
pathetic in her pose.
laughter rings loud
it mocks
ridicules
challenges.
she quivers
in anticipation
of what is thrown next
a ridiculous lie?
a lonely thought?
a half-hearted memory?
a wounded word?
she pleads for amnesia
a song plays in answer
derisively
brokenly.
memories part ways
the fork in the road
is twisting in her side.

what if
the game is that
of tit for tat?
she crumbles
in terror
the thought pierces her
its pointless overkill.

Question 12

What goes around comes back around?

Fickle feelings

irritation

anger

stubborn nonchalance

uh ok if you say so

what really?

interested

on the spur of the moment laughter

hoot

unbridled joy

jaunty

bah

feather weight floating

lost

wondering

whimpering

jealousy

ferocious

tearing

shaking it off shrug

faraway

screeching silence

lonely

reminiscing

sadness

yearning

wrap your arms around yourself pity

strength

crazy

wide-eyed eager

old

dilli darshan

Twilight was winking at us

an unbridled moment away

a chill lit up the evening

the black shawl came out to stay

an eagle drank the dewdrops

that adorned the grass's feet

over wonderous words and shrugged shoulders

two silly souls decided to meet

red sandstone stood patiently

as death does us receive

a bench was wiped reluctantly

shoes kicked off with glee

the wintery evening grew on

the lovers entwined, untamed

their haste at once ugly, at once music

flowed unharnessed - prisoners unchained

ivory caressed ebony jealously

her hair spilt onto his arm

he kissed her violently, cruelly possessive

embraced her - less good more harm

and our sniggering souls mimicked

the lovers' passionate ballet

the sordid souls who bragged of life and love

thought up tales of stale cliches

time ticked by in its unhurried way

savoured by those it touched yet lost

the four went their separate ways, their diverging lives

an illicit affair was all the enchanting evening cost

Some days turn out to be very interesting. They are hurricanes of arresting things happening all the time. Your senses are alive, you are stimulated to tickle your creative juices into a cocktail. You feel light and feel like hooting at the world and its methods. And since days like this waltz in once in a blue moon, they deserve to be turned into poems (however rotten they may sound, to the characters, everything is a melody)