30 August, 2007

Question 7

Sometimes your life seems to be converging into a series of blahs. Days seem insipid, your mind is in a constant state of queasiness, thoughts assume a diahorric quality. Are we meant to be happy all the time? Or is suffering shoved onto us to make realisation sink in? For us to know just how lucky we are to have some nanoseconds of glee? Is this feeling of ultimate degeneration part of the larger picture?
When can I see the picture? Who draws that picture? Why wasn't I invited to draw too? And do not say cause you can't draw because looking at the way its shaping up, I don't think anyone who has anything to do with it is an artist. Why do some sunny days feel so cold? Who gets to answer all this? And why don't I ever seem to have any answers?
Is oscillating from sunlight-shimmering positivity to the hollows of negativity normal? Ok who decides what's normal? Surely not the same moron who's making that picture. That brings me full circle.
Everything IS blah.

20 August, 2007

Eye to I

Go on discard her
a moribund thought
an eggshell in your omlette
a raindrop in this drought
we walk on dead end roads
and stomp through open ended tales
we wallow in self pity
as we race those slithering snails
she is the gouge in your soul
she is the insipid dream
she is the sadistic laughter
straining to hear you scream
do I need shout louder
your mind is an avalanche of tears
don't make me spell out
each of them scathing fears.

12 August, 2007

Loony lessons

Guess what I realised the other day? I've been on a non-stop roller coaster of learning ever since I was me. Be it the alphabet or 8 times 7 is _____ or how to put my hands through my sweater without letting the sleeves of my shirt bunch up, its been an incessant inflow of "stuff" into that convoluted grey jiggly mass of brain. And there's no stopping it. So, though you people have enough of your own learning to do, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to torment you into sifting through some of my own nuggets of wisdom.

I've learnt that I am happiest when I have a good book and a mug of coffee with me (yeah apple juice in summer will do just fine).

I've learnt that try as I might (and I HAVE tried), I will never understand what motivates girls to diet. My mantra: Have food, will eat.

I have learnt that no matter how old I get, I will never ever grow out of sties...yes those rotten things that come up in your eye (contrary to my mother's theory of them being a direct result of constipation, they are actually due to infection. Thank you).

I have learnt (in an incredulous oh-my-god-really? way) that I can survive without the internet. There are no such things as life-changing mails.

I have learnt that the hulabaloo about relativity is not over hyped. Think. The presentation you have to give tomorrow and have been going on and on and on about, will soon be over. Two weeks later you wouldn't even remember it. Ten years down the line you'l be battling bigger problems like poop-soaked diapers and half burnt dinners. Twenty years hence, you'll be busy putting up a brave face to middle age. Thirty years later...oh my imagination faints at the prospect of such remote time frames. That presentation tomorrow? Does it even figure in the greater scheme of things? We are just insignificant pimples on the rump of some ant floating across the Milky Way. So if you think things relatively, get used to the idea of being a blip, an inaudible squeak, a nothing of earth-shattering consequence and life becomes so much more simple.

I have learnt that although it seems exceedingly hard to believe (me being the lazy baboon that I am) I love walking. Especially in the mountains.

I have learnt that the vulnerability of old age in my loved ones scares me.

I have learnt that guys are good at the mushy stuff. Girls? Are not.

I have learnt that the following are the golden steps to cooking bhindi (lady's fingers):

1. Wash bhindi
2. Dry properly
3. Cut
4. Cook

Any other, ANY other, yes ANY OTHER sequence of steps (especially starting with 3 and then going to 1 will lead to sure disaster in the form of a gooey lump of ogre-coloured mush.

I have learnt that board games are fun. Always.

I have learnt that sometimes I enjoy wallowing in self-pity. Then I shake myself and get on with life, in a hair-out-of-face-sleeves-rolled-up way.

I have learnt that loud, garrulous families turn me off. Just as self absorbed aunties and their oh-my-dear-sons, manicured dogs, raisins in Indian sweets (read halwa, kheer), people who ill-treat books and new fangled pokemon/pikachoo cartoons do.

I have learnt that compliments are tricky fellows. I NEVER know how to deal with one. They have a way of turning your sincerely happy response into impolite modesty or nonchalance.

I have learnt that being honest with myself is the least I can do. For myself.

I have learnt that I'm going to be in this cycle of learn-forget-slap-forehead-relearn-aaah-that-was-it for a long long while.



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