30 October, 2006


They say a lot of things.

"They" - the faceless mass of people, cultures, history, thoughts, all rolled into one inexplicably intimidating jumble of notions...preconceived ones at that.

Everyone knows the "theys". They are like the Sharmas or the Khannas along with their snotty little kids. Only a tad more opiniated and vocal. They have a weird way of creeping upon you, as if they had padded soles (souls?) and then they whisper/mumble/tell/shout/screeeeam their ideas into your head. They often worry me into believing their ways. I get carried away, useless chaff in the merciless winds of circumstances..the good, the bad and watever is supposed to lie in between those infinities.

I hate the "theys", they pollute with their notions and gentle prodding which is like a punctuated dagger, more prolonged and more painful. They come in all forms

- a friend who tells you to stop cribbing and start living, enjoying days which you actually feel like blowing your nose into and crumpling away.

- a mother who tells you to study hard

- a lover who asks for forgiveness...come on ya...cheating isnt such a huge do they say...things stink when they go bad...and relationships? They reek of the cheap perfume of disloyalty.

I told you. They speak a lot. Can someone tell them to hush it down? Its deafening my shut ears.

25 October, 2006

uncomfortably numb....

"A weary evening sky blushes a warm pink.
shamefacedly acknowledging his lust for the moon.
he wooes her with a carpet of star-splashed hopes.
the temptress that she is.
she shapes her answers in a different tantalizing form each night."

I am back from my village..a little hamlet tucked away in an obscure corner of India's ignored rural landscape...my haven. My island of tranquility. On one of my evening walks, I looked at the setting sun as it washed the sky with a sanguine tinge...and the words just came to me...they narrated themselves to my ears. I whistled to my dogs, they pattered along...

12 October, 2006

its a smile splashed day!!!!!

Some things make me happy...in a "candyfloss - fuzzy, inexplicable" way....

twiddling rain - soaked, crinkled - with - water toes.

eating plain thick slabs of bitter dark chocolate...and sharing them (I used to think eating chocolates alone is fun...but sharing them ....orgasmically intimate).

kajal on eyes. dream - drenched eyes.

puppy - mouth smell...even better than the "wet earth" smell.

Singing. Loudly.

time spent with dogs...always my moments of unadulterated joy...I could live with dogs my whole life and not miss people. Really.

Hugs. We are so stingy with them...thats why dogs help. You hug them, they make love to you.

imperfection. I revel in it.

dancing alone.

writing my diary.

working with my hands....I bow to the soothing touch of a tired day.

I am happy today..in an "insane giggling, guffawing fit" way
chandni : )

09 October, 2006

Hear me

Hush...listen closely...
there...can you hear her soul shatter
a million luminous little pieces
her mind romps over the shards
she aches and writhes
walks over blood-washed floors
her angel gently shines over
she turns a shivering shoulder, a stifled sob
the day dawns... she readies herself
vainly, she defies the ghosts in vain
a hint of a smile glistens on her tears...

06 October, 2006


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